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Amazingly Bad Poetry Journal Review - Closeness

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May. 4th, 2011 | 10:12 pm

by Martin

When the night suffocates the day
stars appear and drill tiny holes in the darkness.
I look up and know that my little girl spots the same holes
eventhough she's thousands of miles away.
A smile runs over my face
like a falling star that cuts a frosty night.
Closeness is not measured in miles
but in heart beats.
My heart beats with yours, I am with you.
If you feel lonesome look up to the stars and that tiny one,
in the upper left corner, the one that flashes,
that is the same I am looking at, right now!

Stars appear AND they drill tiny holes in the darkness? If the tiny holes in the darkness are, in fact, the stars, how can they appear before they appear? Maybe not all stars are created equally? Some stars are actually stars -- there's red giants and white dwarfs, etc. -- but since there's an finite number of stars, the stars are equipped with Craftsman power tools so they can drill tiny holes in the darkness. That way, it looks like there's more stars than there actually are. Unluckily, the holes heal themselves when Jolly Mr. Sun clocks in for the day, not unlike Prometheus and his liver, so the stars have to drill the same holes every night. They use chalk to remember where each one goes. Cosmic chalk. Some stars have suggested to Martin that they drill large holes so it'll be easier for him and his daughter to connect over the night sky. But Martin likes having the challenge. The stars have also suggested to Martin that after a basic understanding of constellations and/or the placement of Mars and Venus in the night sky, he and his daughter can actually bond over an object in the night sky. The stars also wonder about time zones.

I want you and a friend or lover to go outside right now, provided it is currently night. If you can't can't see stars in your area, take a car or a helicopter to a spot where you can see stars. Pick a star and then direct your friend or lover to that star using the same sort of directions that Martin employs in his poem ("upper left corner, the one that flashes"). Is it worth pointing out that the sky doesn't have corners? If your friend or lover is a reasonable, sane person, they will try to strangle you after about ten minutes of you trying to get him or her to look at the same star.

Wait, I have an idea, Martin! What about the freaking moon? It's illuminated by the sun, which is a star. Unlike an individual star, apparently picked at random, it's easy to find. You know what, I'm going to decide for you. I have a feeling you're very stubborn. We don't know why Martin's daughter is thousands of miles away. Martin doesn't say that it's because of his poetry, but I think it's heavily implied. She's either serving on an aircraft carrier or she's attending the University of Florida. Or she's Audrey Hepburn in "Sabrina."

Bad Poetry Grade [F = your standard bad poem; A+ = worst poem imaginable]: C+
Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight, become a fan of this reprehensible blog on the Facebook, potato blight, Veronica Cartwright

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Comments {2}

Dina Clare

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from: lintilla
date: May. 5th, 2011 10:25 am (UTC)

Constellations won't even help you if you're on different hemispheres!

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from: seamonkey_mags
date: May. 5th, 2011 01:01 pm (UTC)

I worry that this isn't actually for a daughter.

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