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Amazingly Bad Poetry Journal Review - Cathys Song

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Mar. 27th, 2010 | 01:39 pm

Cathys Song
by James

If I was the author of a song, I'd write a song for you.
It would be of things in life, that were beautiful and true blue.
I would write of love you see, more deeper then the deepest well.
I would write of love you see, stronger then a magic spell.
It would express my feelings, the one's I need they're real.
My loving feelings for you, the ones so strong I feel.
I would write of freedom, like the birds, a squirrel, a flower.
It would be a long song, that would last hour after hour.
Yes if I were to write a song for you, that would be what I would do.
It would be for someone special, That someone special is you.

Do you want to tell him or shall I? There's no rule that says that he can't name his poem "Cathy's Song", but I anticipate some amount of embarassment when someone tells him there's a famous Simon & Garfunkel song titled "Kathy's Song." It's not a big deal. Cathy/Kathy are common names. Later this month, we're going to review other poems by James, "Bridge Over Tumultuous Water" and "I Am A Large Piece Of Granite." It may very well be that James isn't familiar with Simon & Garfunkel at all, in which someone telling him about "Kathy's Song" will be met with a "Huh?" or "Who?" It's just a shame that we can't be there to see his reaction to Art Garfunkel's hairstyles. I know that was an important moment for me. I think that if I was in a poetry workshop with James, I'd slip him an anonymous note. You don't want to invoke the title of another lyrical work with the title of your poem.

The coincidence doesn't benefit from the quality of the poem. "If I was the author of a song, I'd write a song for you," it begins and immediately the reader stops. Is he saying that "If I wrote a song, I'd write another song for you"? It doesn't seem likely that it meant it like that, so I have to move on to the ... wait, why didn't just use the word "songwriter"?! Or "composer" or "musician" or "Stephen Sondheim"? These aren't obscure words. Why is he "the author of a song."? One song, singular. God, the world made sense five minutes ago.

Okay, maybe he meant that "If I wrote a song, that song would be [for]/about you." In the alternate dimension where James decided to write a less convuluted version of this opening line, I am suffering a massive embollism due to its resemblance to the theme of "Your Song" by Elton John and Bernie Taupin. They do not a hold a monopoly on "my gift is my song and this one's for you," but when you're writing a creative piece, you're seeking (among other things) the balance between original and totally ludricous.

Speaking of ludricous, how many different animals did James dismiss before he settled on the squirrel in line #7? Do you associate squirrels with freedom? Does anyone (besides James)? I immediately remember the fearless vermin that would regularly (without provocation) attack students on my college campus. No lie. We even covered it in the newspaper. I can understand how his mind travelled from birds to squirrels, but just because you make an association, that doesn't mean that you should use it. Seeing your train of thought is not necessarily a good thing. What about dolphins? Dolphins are the freedom stand-by.

Bad Poetry Grade [F = your standard bad poem; A+ = worst poem imaginable]: C-

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Comments {2}


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from: seamonkey_mags
date: Mar. 28th, 2010 02:23 pm (UTC)

Sorry, my brain died at "more deeper".

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Shiori Coybito

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from: darkship
date: Mar. 28th, 2010 05:57 pm (UTC)

I can't believe you didn't give him a kicking for the spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors that permeate the poem ("more deeper"?), or the excruciating "true blue" thing at the end of line #2 which only seems to have "blue" at the end because the line was a syllable short. Or "that special person is you" at the end as if it's a twist, when it's blindingly obvious it's "you" that the song would be about- because he mentioned it in the line before that!

God, this poem is horrific, I need to lie down.

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